So after an extraordinary amount of reflection, I decided to join E Harmony. I figured it was worth a try. The selling point for me was the more in-depth matching algorithm. I also figured, due to the cost, it would weed out those that were not too interested.
It's been a few weeks now. It has not been that way at all.
Guy A. Bio: 43 years old, works for as game designer for a major software company. He seems very literate, topical and educated. The picture is a wee bit dorky. He's wearing a fanny pack and a shirt that is far too small in his apartment, but I think...don't be so judgemental, give him a chance. First email, he can't wait to tell me that he makes a 'BOATLOAD of money' in the second line. First red flag. Second email, his favourite pass time is Dungeons and Dragons! Do people still do that? Apparently he and 5 of his best friends get dressed up and roleplay with pen/paper and a gameboard all weekend. Again, I tell myself if I dis' him because he doesn't do the same things I do, then I'm no better than those that have done the same to me. It's just another form of board game, right? Some people play monopoly, and other play different games.
I write again. Yes, he plays the games in his parent's basement. He's not yet left the nest, so to speak. So I ask him how long he's been single and what brought him to E Harmony. Well, let's just say he was played by Steve Carrel in the movie. He had never even had a DATE! I gave him the 'I think we're just too different' speech.
Guy B. Bio: 38 years old, says he's self-employed. He starts off VERY angry, critiquing my pictures and telling me that I look like I've aged a lot between them. (3 years apart for the record). Definite chip on his shoulder, and ends his email with 'I know you said no drugs, but I smoke pot. Hoped you'd be open minded like everyone else in this province.' Again, red flags, but I'm feeling charitable. I write back, tell him that maybe he's taking the wrong approach by being aggressive in his emails. More flies with honey, that sort of stuff. Then I ask him what type of self-employment is he involved in. He delivers NEWSPAPERS!!!! 38 years old, lives with 3 other roommates, smokes pot and is a paperboy, working 3 hours a day. I'm not looking for moguls but quite possibly by the approach of the 4th decade, you'd think he'd have enough ambition to find something more that a 15 year old could do! So, buh-bye #2.
Guy C. Emailed this morning. First line in his email. "I live in x. I noticed you live in y. That's a bit of a commute. Will you consider moving in with me? By the way, I have 4 kids living at home.' Slow down! I don't even know your full NAME, dude!
So this morning, I go in and give it one more chance.
No matches can be found! What? Is it really that slim pickings in this area? No wonder I'm still single!
