Suzy Snapper
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
A contemplative day
Is that even a word? Not sure, but this is my blog and if I want to make up words, I will.

First off, thank you all for the kind words with my rough week last week. Yes, I've seen the doctor. And we had a great heart-to-heart. I am not so good at putting things down on the table, and especially with pain, I try and bury it. As soon as the pain gets a little better, I forget it. The trouble is, if it's mapped and you realize that 20 out of the last 30 days were painful ones, that method is not a good one. So, I've had a battery of blood tests done and on August 21, I will go to the hospital for a slightly more invasive test.

Devon, thank you for the comment about non-Western medicines. I am very intrigued by the idea but am not sure how to find a good practitioner. I have heard of quite a few bad experiences and charlatans out there, and am a little concerned given my past history of ending up in the hospital when things went wrong to trust someone who hasn't had knowledge of the last few years. But having said that, I actually have put some feelers out and we'll see what comes of it.

Now, today. I am a sucker for remembering dates and numbers, so I knew I'd be having an introspective moment or two today.

It's July 25. 2 years ago, I was in Hawaii and met someone who would change my life. NavyBoy. And when I say change, not all change is positive but that meeting was a catalyst for many changes in my life. While he was not exactly what I expected, nor was what we had, I am very glad our paths did meet.

In the last two years, I was given the opportunity to become very involved from a personal level the support involved in the military. I now know the feeling of having a loved one go off to a war zone and to worry every day. To take that worry and build on it, so that it doesn't cripple but makes one stronger. Now, when I hear stories about the military and their families, it holds much more meaning.

It gave me the opportunity to learn about certain conflicts, certain ideals and generally broaden my horizons. It also gave me the impetus to begin blogging. It allowed me to strengthen my opinions, my choices and my perspective. Some I allowed to become public, and some I did not.

When I learned more of the situation that NavyBoy was in, and also realizing that it was not a situation I wanted to be part of, I learned that was ok too. I don't regret one second, nor wish it didn't happen.

Do we talk still? Surprisingly, yes. Not as often as we did, mind you, but we do. He is back home stateside now. Once the rose coloured glasses came off, I saw him in a different light. He is a dreamer and doesn't really live in reality. Always looking for the easy win, the quick buck, the newest adventure. Not conducive to a family life, and I now understand why he ended up in the situation he is. And for the record, he is now officially divorced - not that it has any bearing on our relationship.

He is still my friend. Should he be? Many say no. But my friendships are lifelong. I speak to all my ex-boyfriends and it is very rare indeed for someone to truly leave my life. I feel he will be in my life to some degree for a long time to come, but there are limits.

His emails often are filled with plans to come to see me. To make everything right. To right all the wrongs and deceptions of the last two years. But I know that's all just talk. It's a nice story, nice words but that's all they are. My heart left once the complete story was out in the open. We will always be friends, but from afar.

I am so glad I met him two years ago today, for it opened up a whole new world to me. It gave me insight and confidence, but it also gave me a lesson in trust. Our meeting had a strong purpose and I'm grateful for that.

Vancouver, British Columbia
A patriotic Canadian full of visions of a better Canada, random thoughts and a lot of hot air. Who am I? A struggling writer and photographer trapped in a corporate buyer's body. Steel shopping by day, and freeflowing prose by night. One day I hope to have the nights become my days, but am intimidated by the sheer amount of people who share my dream. So I read. A lot. I learn. A lot. I push myself. A lot. The world is a small place, and getting smaller every day. I'm proud to have friends in every corner of the earth, and abide by the old adage that there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.
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