Suzy Snapper
Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Right now, we are caught between the land of knowing what we are dealing with and not.

It all hinges on the angiogram, which as yet hasn't been scheduled. There are only two facilities in the lower mainland of Vancouver that can perform this, and you can just imagine how booked they are.

My Dad seemed almost giddy yesterday. The nurses said it was a survival mechanism. Making silly jokes in an adrenalin-rush of realization that he's still here. But that was short lived. By afternoon, he was cantankerous and angry. No salt in his food. No cigarettes to be had.

Right now, his heart is so unstable and each time he sits up, the mere exertion of being upright causes his heart to spasm. Until the angiogram, nothing will change.

So last night the decision was made to keep him sedated for the next little while. Just so the anxiety doesn't cause undue stress on the heart.

My Mom seems to have moments of calmness. I made an appointment yesterday with her doctor to discuss her needs. I figured it would be best to have a good idea of what I need to watch for with her, and I was right. The doctor was great...she wrote out everything that was needed and gave me a good feeling of what we need to keep on top of. Of course, I feel more like a mom now than ever...'Have you taken your medicine?' She doesn't seem to mind though.

I'm not working. An attempt of going into work yesterday resulted in me being sent home. I am on compassionate leave. I don't know if I have a job at the end of this (my boss was very phoney with his words of kindness and apparently has been ranting all day yesterday in my absence), but I just can't worry about that right now. My place is here. I thought yesterday, what will I remember in 5 years? That I was working, or that I was with my Dad and Mom. The answer is obvious.

Vancouver, British Columbia
A patriotic Canadian full of visions of a better Canada, random thoughts and a lot of hot air. Who am I? A struggling writer and photographer trapped in a corporate buyer's body. Steel shopping by day, and freeflowing prose by night. One day I hope to have the nights become my days, but am intimidated by the sheer amount of people who share my dream. So I read. A lot. I learn. A lot. I push myself. A lot. The world is a small place, and getting smaller every day. I'm proud to have friends in every corner of the earth, and abide by the old adage that there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.
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